Your Bullshit Made Me Go Into Labor

Babe, have you seen my phone? I really need it… I’m going out tonight to meet my *friends* and I have to have my phone before I leave! I know you have it… you pull this every time I try to go out. You are always trying to keep me locked up in this house and it isn’t going to work this time! I am sick and tired of you and I need my space! You know babe, I’m actually tired of always trying to sneak around and lie about this stuff. I think it’s time that I told you what is really going on… I am not going out to hang with my friends, I’m going out to get fucked… hard! I’m pregnant, I’m horny, and your tiny worthless dick does absolutely nothing for me. As a matter of fact, there is something else I need to tell you… OUCH! Oh my belly is hurting… I think I’m having a contraction…. Owww… oh no, I think I’m in labor…. babe, you stupid asshole, you put me in labor with all of this dumb arguing about my phone! That’s good, now you are going to find out the truth about everything!

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